I Did Not Know

 I tried one of those genetic tracker things to see what my genetic make up might be. So I spit in the tube and put the tube in it's pre-addressed and postage paid box and off it went to the gene detectives and I waited for the results. I waited and waited and waited some more and after about a long while the results came back BUT, all the genetic detectives letter would say is "check with this web site." That is not what I expected. I followed the bullshit instructions inserted ever so neatly within the genetic detective letter and after some web-related 'issues' I found out I'm Norwegian, Scottish, and Irish. That's according to the genetic thingy. Having very few familial details to work with, I was mostly on my own to figure out exactly what I might be genetically and ethnically. I always figured I was just your ordinary and regular Amerikan mutt. Turns out I am as figured, your ordinary and regular Amerikan mutt but with some interesting twists. I found a website called 'Family Search' and filled out their forms and pressed some buttons and what do you know, I have family that dates back a helluva long way. Turns out besides being a genetic and ordinary Amerikan mutt, I'm directly related to Mormons that were personal friends with Joseph Smith and Brigham Young and all manner of cousins and second cousins and related by virtue of having polygamist cousins and second cousins and third cousins and that's not even the really curious part. The Norwegian relations go back farther than I had imagined and turns out I'm a direct descendant to one 'Ragnar the Bad Ass' and evidently, there are movies and tv docudramas made of that guy. That sort of explains some of my social bad behaviors over the years. Anyway and tracking back in time I find out I've Iraqi relations and Jewish relations and there's European relations but back then they weren't European. Oh hell no. There's Normans that weren't Mormons and Burgundians and plenty of Suffolk English but I couldn't find any Irish or Scottish. I'm not finished doing the genetic detecting on my familial blood lines. There's probably some blood clots or clods in there somewhere. I just have to keep looking. I think the most interesting find was the 'Ragnar the Bad Ass' find and the Jewish find that dates back to before the time of Jesus the Crucified. Did you know that Jesus the Crucified was a Jew? Well he most certainly was and I'm fully able to understand that but, Jewish relatives? Holy Moses I had no and I mean absolutely NO idea there were any Jewish relatives from way way way back in the day. Dang and go figure. On to machine art for a Monday. Gosh, do I need to go out and purchase a yarmulka? Curiouser and curiouser...

wonder fuels an incurious world -

goghist -

Vincent Van Gogh invented cubism. who knew...:]