skulzwerks

  Happy Halloween everyone. We made it to the big day. CANDY! Go out there and gets you lots and loads of candy. Enough candy to make every last dentist across these amber waves of sugar smile and longingly. Lovingly? Of course and you know, tomorrow will mark the beginning of Thanksmas. Thanksmas is that new and especially legislated holiday that covers all the shopping days from the day after Halloween through New Years Day. America's retailers pressured Congress into legislating this new and improved holiday where everyone can spend money at the retailers and make the retailers ever so happy. Curious that this new holiday would commence on Dia de los Muertos. Yes, quite curious. If Americans were to spend money like the retailers want Americans to spend, well, Americans would be dead broke and headed to the poor house. The 'poor house' for this incarnation means homeless and living out of a refrigerator box in one of those civil engineered if not genius designed homeless...

  Halloween is tomorrow. Halloween is so close you can almost taste it. CANDY! Thanks to Craig Ferguson. You know, because Ferguson used to throw candy to his studio audience at the close of his monologue. I do miss Ferguson. Ferguson was easily the funniest man on late night television. I miss Geoff as well. So tomorrow is Halloween and if you were paying any attention to this week's news, well, you've already witnessed how scary things can get. Pretty dang insane too. So hold on to your butts, keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times, then bring on the trick-or-treaters. Tomorrow of course. Tomorrow is Halloween. Redundant to the bitter end. Machine art is next up. she -  puppet - you know... puppets are pretty dang creepy. CANDY! 😖

  Today is 'Freaky Friday' on account of it's the Friday before Halloween. So here and deep behind the Zion Curtain, there's a seriously raging debate on whether the kiddies should trick-or-treat on Saturday night or Sunday night. Halloween falls on a Sunday this year and through no fault of the Gregorian calendar makers, it is what it is. You see here in the land of Zion, the mormons aren't supposed to do more than about squat on a Sunday. Well except golf is okay and fishing is okay and hunting is okay and washing the car is okay and just about anything other than mormon worship is okay. If a holiday should fall on a Sunday, the mormons have their "virtues" tested mightily. Such as... should the 4th of July fall on a Sunday, the mormons hold 4th of July celebrations on the Saturday before the 4th. Halloween falls on a Sunday for this year and so mormons are torn over whether to send their costumed little mormons out on Saturday or Sunday. Trick-or-treate...

  The good people of Massachusetts are, evidently, freaking out about the return of 'Jaws'. Yes the Great White Shark has returned to haunt the beaches of the Bay State.  Possibly more than just the movie shark. It is entirely possible that an entire fleet of Great White Sharks are swimming just off shore and hunting the Bay Statesmen. Well and of course Bay Stateswomen and all the nonbinary androgens wandering around confused. Say, the Massachusettsites could feed all those nonbinary confused folk to the sharks and solve two problems all at the same time. It's always a good idea to get a solution for all those annoying and nagging problems that pop up every so once in a while. I think that Richard Dreyfuss is still alive and he could lead the pogrom to rid Massachusetts of all their androgens, witches, icky people and the likes thereof. Roy Sheider and Robert Shaw are dead so no help there. Dreyfuss will have to lead the mobs all by hisself. You'd think th...

  Places to go, people to irritate, and so it goes. Machine art is an absolute. cosmos and thank you Dr. Sagan - beastly - we'll see what tomorrow brings. 😃

  Have you ever sat down to consider what might happen after death? Aa one gets older, well, you tend to think about deep philosophical crap like that there. Are we born to simply suffer then die? Was Jesus really a Capricorn? Did the Buddha ever pick his nose? Did Mohammed sport around with 70 virgin wives? Did L. Ron Hubbard actually exist? Is Tom Cruise really an actor OR is he simply the victim of his own ego? So many philosophically pressing questions. So let's say you die today and now you need some advice as to what the fuck happens next. Well let me offer up some salient points that might just come in handy. First off, you die and that's mostly it. Your body no longer needs to eat. You won't feel anything on account of your being dead. Your brain won't work on account of your being dead. You certainly won't be able to wander around on account of your being dead. Do you see the trend developing here? You won't be able to see anything, you won't be abl...

  The National Association of Insane Fascists or NAIF for short, held their annual confab right here behind the Zion Curtain. Salt lake City to be specifically specific. NAIF is an umbrella assortment of lunatics, psychotic schemers, and flat out raving assholes. Some British lady gave the closing address to the silly freaks and the best the woman could proffer was to flash the crowd with her ass. The gathering closed yesterday. Sunday. The gathering wasn't exactly a 'crowd', it was more of an undersized grouping of all those that were able to obtain a day pass from the local nut house. That local nut house has an actual and official name but I'll leave that part out as I really can't afford a lawsuit at present. I don't think that Medicare covers lawsuits. Yeah I am that old. I am also old enough to be grateful for Medicare. Getting insurance isn't the piece of cake that all the television commercials would have you believe. Talk about your Kafka-esque frea...

Today marks the beginning of 'Unholy Week'. It ends with 'Dia de los Muertos'. Yes that most excellent time of year when the heebies and the jeebies put on their best costumes and frolic the week away doing "unholy" things for all to enjoy. Halloween is one of my all time favorite holidays and the celebrations end with another of my favorite all time holidays and that would be Dia de los Muertos. Day of the dead Mexican version is another of my all time favorite holidays. Dia de los Muertos stretches that Halloween celebration into a two day festival of dead people and stuff like that there. You get to visit cemeteries and bring marigolds and eat Dia de los Muertos food. Bring on those chili verde enchiladas. Chili Rellenos too Yummy! Paint up your chillin's and throw scary shit at your neighbors. Fill up a big bowl with candy and greet the little trick-or-treaters as they come a banging on your door expecting handfuls of the good candy and not the crappy ...

  I've got nothing for this here Saturday October 23, 2021. Sure there's worlds of political bullshit. Damn if'n that don't just get tedious. Same crap over and over day in day out. Sinema said this, Munchkin said that, Itchy McConnell tripped over his tongue and fell down stairs. Democrats hate Republicans and Republicans hate everybody. Same same. It's all irrelevant crap and the American people get to watch this farce and can't do more than about nothing to make any effective change. So we'll simply move on to the machine art and all the other nonsense can suck it. head down - Vincent's clogs - it would be nice IF every once in a while the politicos would simply shut the fuck up. well and the media buffoons that stick those live microphones into the politicos faces. 😝

  Yippee! It's Friday and about damn time. I do love me some Fridays. Before you know it, it'll be Halloween. Problem is...Halloween won't be on a Friday. Not this year. Halloween will be on a Sunday for this year and that will prove problematic for mormons. Mormons aren't supposed to do a thing on Sundays except go to "ward meeting." You see the mormons are divided up into 'wards' and that's where the mormon obedient go for church. They don't actually worship at their "ward meetings." No they do not. Ward meetings are more like a neighborhood meet and greet so's the ever so obedient mormons can check up on one another. That and see what's up with returned missionaries so the missionaries can meet and greet the daughters of the attendees at a ward meeting. Gots to keep all that mormon bullshit in the family. Did you know that the mormons still practice polygamy? That's true. These days the mormons call their polygamy '...

  Welcome to Utah. Home to ideologues and the devotees that love them. Ideology has just about always been an Utah "virtue." It's mormonism you see. One religion to rule them all, one religion to bind them, one religion to wed them to one another and therefore inbreeding spawns the weak-minded. Utah boasts of being the 'Life Elevated' state but that notion is propaganda. Once again, it's the mormonism. Question not thine religion leadership and We won't have to smack your peepee. Ideology/religion, it's the same bullshit wrapped in fancy paper. Thin paper but paper nonetheless. Mormons even have their very own golden idols. That golden Angel Moroni standing atop each and every one of the mormon temples. So let us cut to the chase. A mormon legislator, one Lincoln Fillmore (Ideologue-South Jordan), wants all social study syllabus material to be pre-screened for ideology purity. What that means is, social study material would never and oh no not ever, be...

  Cumbre Vieja Pendejo is Spanish for "oh shit it must be Hump Day!" Or possibly it translates to "oh shit that volcano is fixin' to blow!" Yeah and probably that last one. I've been watching ole Cumbre Vieja in the evening. It's dark and night time in la Palma so that makes watching the volcano much easier. You gets to see the hot lave blowing out the calderas. Yes I said calderas. There's more than just one. I'm almost positive that the volcanic vents number at least three and quite possibly four or maybe even more than that. So IF those vents collapse on one another and hook up to be just one really freaking large vent, well, look the fuck out then. La Palma won't need to evacuate anyone that's still on the island. Nope. Our trusty and damn twitchy Cumbre Vieja Pendejo will blow whomever might be left there clean out to open ocean. Talk about tsunami. People tsunami happening pretty dang soon and details will be handed out at eleven. C...

A perfectly logical conclusion considering that yesterday was Monday. Logical...yes. It would also be logical to conclude that I've got absolutely nothing. Yes...logical. So I'll move right on and directly to the machine art. There's always that. sun no moon -   chronicles - some days the fog can be really thick. brain fog. first thing in the morning brain fog. 😕

  Gen. Colin Powell has died from complications due to the Covid-19. Damn if that doesn't about suck. I had much respect for the good General. He seemed a man of integrity and that quality is in very short supply these days. Gen. Powell could have been America's first black president but alas, it wasn't to be. Can't blame the General for that decision. The good people in America that SHOULD be holding public office refuse to run. The political dog fights have gotten that bad. Pity that. C'est la vie. Rest in peace mon General. Machine art Monday is coming up right about now. one lone tree - oh girlie cue - the good men die and the assholes are left standing. damn that really sucks! 😒

  Pressing questions for a Sunday from the CNN.com page. Question the first, what happens IF Gabby Petito's fiancé isn't found soon? Seriously? WTF can possibly happen now that might change anything. Ms. Petito is dead and not a dang thing can change that. Authorities find the Laundrie asshole, the authorities don't find the Laundrie asshole it's almost irrelevant. Ms. Petito is still dead. What might be poetic justice would be if authorities find Laundrie's corpse after he'd been strangled by one of those Florida swampland pythons. Boa constrictor? Either way. That'd be some righteous karma there boy. Second up and not necessarily a question, the Supreme Court is keeping secrets. Wow and no way man. Not the Supremes. Secrets? Secrets like Antonin Scalia liked whipping hisself? The Kavanaugh prince clown in a judge suit likes being lewd with the female justices? That would be a conjectural question. No surprise there. Once a skirt dog always a skirt dog. Las...

  The political braintrust along with the developers that own and run Salt Lake City came up with a brilliant solution to the current housing crisis. Salt Lake has priced itself right out of the affordable housing market. Back to the theme for this here Saturday, the local politburo decided that shipping containers would make for some really spiffy housing for all those that are ass out when it comes to affordable housing. You see those shipping containers, which everyone sees loaded onto flat railway cars and winding their way to stores and shopping centers all across America, seem to be ideal for ready made homes. Don't need to lay foundations or crap like that there. You know like walls and ceilings and except for a need to cut windows and doors into the shipping containers, well, slam a shipping container on the ground and PRESTO! Ready made for occupancy homes. Toss in some plumbing, electrical, flooring, cabinets, closets, and all the necessary junk that makes for a home...

  The ever so famous 'Friday' old Gregorian chant isn't Gregorian. I just found that out. Well...my bad. Nope the chant isn't Gregorian it's Celtic. Damn, how come people never tell me these things. I find out the truth about years later...damn! So the ever so famous ex-Gregorian chant being referred to here goes like this - Friday...Friday...Fri iii (sung upscale then down) i-day... Friday! rinse then repeat. So I must apologize for being misleading low these many years. The chant is Celtic and we all need to remember that. The chant actually has it's origins in Scotland. That's where the Celts came from in the first place so don't believe any of the Euro-freaks trying to maintain that the Celts came from Europe. It's blatant plagiaristic bullshit to be sure. Dang Euros anyway. The dang Euros would have everyone believe that they invented chop suey. They didn't. Chop suey was invented in San Francisco. Yup that's true. Now that I've clea...

Yesterday was 'No Bra Day'. I missed it! Dang it all, here I was being all pertinent and timely and I missed it. There must have been a memo somewhere. Today is just any old regular Thursday and the bras will be back on today. Double dang it! Evidently 'No Bra Day' falls on October 13th and I did not know that. Well don't that just beat all. I DID NOT KNOW! Crap diddly crap crap. Guys all around our breast-centric world have a chance to see them breasts all unleashed and stuff and I was about the day's business clueless. Boy if'n I don't feel kind of sheepishly stupid. I do love to see me some breasts and I missed my chance. The 'free-the-nipples' day is gone and won't be back until next October 13th. Okay so I really do know why 'breast cancer awareness' is important but still, I missed 'No Bra Day'. Yes I can admit to being more than teenage juvenile when it comes to a woman's breasts. The breast obsession can probably b...

  To boldly go where he's never gone before. Who you might ask? Why Captain Kirk that's who. William Shatner gets a ride on Bezos joyride rocket today and our good Capitaine finally makes it to space. The final frontier. Good for Shatner. I'd really like to get a ride to space but I don't know the "right people" to make that happen so I'm shit out of luck. Maybe Demi Lovato could get a ride to space. However, Lovato would insist that the 'crew' be nonbinary or she'll hold her breath until everyone agrees that nonbinary is the wave of the future. Is the wave of A future? Not necessarily everyone else's future, just Lovato's. I think that Lovato might be dipping into the crack bag again. I'm not certain of that so I should just probably leave it in the speculation stage of celebrity stupidity. A real space fact, Scotty made it to space long before Kirk. Yup. James Doohan's family got his ashes smuggled onto the International Space...

  According to CNN, "strange radio waves" are coming from the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. The Milky Way Galaxy plays host to this Island Earth. How in hell "scientists" can know for certain that radio waves, strange or otherwise, are coming from the center of our galaxy remains an unanswered part of the "strange radio waves" conjecture. The "energy signal", which by the way is the strangely curious switch up by the alleged 'scientists', is unlike ANY phenomenon studied before and could suggest a previously unknown stellar object. So what we have here is "strange radio waves", "energy signals", and a "previously unknown stellar object." So geez science guys, what is it? Strange radio waves? An energy signal? An unknown stellar object? Make up your dang minds. So whatever the thing is, the brightness of the object varies dramatically. So now whatever it is, it is an "object." You see the science g...

  Happy IP Day to all of North America's First Nation Peoples. IP stands for Indigenous People. Christopher Columbus can suck it. Columbus DID NOT discover America. Columbus stumbled ashore in Cuba and how's that for missed it by that much. I think the fucker landed in Cuba but I can readily admit I might be almost close. Doesn't really matter much. Not now and it's way too late to undo the damage caused by the colonial genocide that followed Columbus' discovery (?). Hell, the Vikings were in North America long before Columbus. Yeah you go Norwegians. I've got Norwegian ancestry as well as Scottish. I think I'm entitled to a slice of Greenland. Not that I want any part of what soon will be a tropical paradise. Climate change you see. Anyway, we've bigger fish to fry on this here Monday so let's move on to the really important parts of this diatribe. Gravity. Gravity is next up on our cavalcade of minor crap that manages to show up on the headline new...

  Yesterday the "DC Peaks 50" contingent of masochist marathoners held an 'ultra marathon', whatever that might be, along the Wasatch Front. The mountainous Wasatch Front. The really rugged and dang high up Wasatch Front. So it is not uncommon for storms to bring rain to the valley and snow to the higher elevations especially in October. That's Utah. Anyway and, the 'ultra marathon' had been scheduled for some time and the marathoners were not about to let a little inclement weather spoil their fun. Fun? The runners began their 'ultra marathon' at 05:00 hours and that would be in the a.m.. About four hours later and as the runners were heading to the top of Francis Peak which by the way is at 9,560 feet in elevation,  pretty dang high up there no doubt, the winter storm that had been predicted by ALL the weather folk in and around the localized area hit with a blizzard like vengeance. Estimated totals for the top of Francis Peak were estimated to b...

  Autumn that is. Throw in a splash of monsoonal rainfall and the autumn season is on for reals. Saturday October 9, 2021 and it's raining buckets of wet a way out here behind the Zion Curtain. Rain falls on the lower elevations and SNOW is falling up the mountains. Elevation is key to the snow crap. This time of year it's still mild enough for rain to fall but up in the mountains where elevation is everything, snow and snow and more snow. The highway guys closed the Mirror Lake Highway on account of snow. That happens this time of year. It is a relief to see the rain. Bless the rains and not down in Africa. Bless the rains right here in about to be a river city. Because it is raining that hard. Couldn't even get the dog to go out the back door for a morning pee. Dog looked out the door and said "I'm not going out there it's raining." Dog turned around and headed back to her bed. Yes my dog is a 'her' and she doesn't buy into any of that nonbin...

  Made it to Friday. Whew...things were touch and go there for a wee while. Britney Spears has been freed from slavery to her father. News? I don't think so. Trump is back in the news, again, for an attempted coup back on January 6, 2021. How is that tub of guts not locked away in prison? The asshole should be tried for subversion AND treason then when found guilty, the fucker should be frog marched out on the National Mall and made to face a military firing squad. That would be worth the price of admission all in and of itself. President Joe Biden, according to the political rumors, will reinstate the Bears Ears National Monument to its original size and shape today along with Grand Staircase - Escalante and a marine monument somewhere off the New England coast. How can a national monument be under water? I suppose it can and will but should it? It isn't like you can just drive out there and have a lookit at the monument. You'll need a boat, scuba gear, possible a shark ...

  Utah is NOT known for having intellectual lawmen. Most of Utah's lawmen are decent enough folk. Just not necessarily towering strengths of intellectual prowess. A case in point, Cache County Utah has for their sheriff one Chad Jensen. Sheriff Jensen really likes to shoot his mouth off. Jensen likes to shoot his mouth off almost as much as he likes to fire off his shootin' iron. Shootin' iron is Utahese for gun. Anyway, the Utah Department of Public Safety's Bureau of Criminal Investigation released a report on crime rates in Utah. The report covered the year 2020. It would seem that crime is on the rise in good ole Mormon Utah. Utah's Sheriffs Association, which is headed by Cache County Utah's Sheriff Chad Jensen, issued a retort on the report. Retort on the report...almost whimsically rhythmic. Back to the topic of the day which would be the intellectual ability of one Sheriff Chad Jensen. Jensen acting in his capacity as head of the Utah Sheriffs Associatio...