skulzwerks

  So here we are at the very last Wednesday in March 2021. There might not be another last Wednesday in March 2021...ever. That is a distinct probability. That also eliminates the need to chime in with that ever so inane 'Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike what day is it' schtick and yeah that was possibly getting old. It's a goody but an oldy.  So March is over and done and today's glaring headlines are about Matt Gaetz being investigated for having sex with a minor. The guy is certainly acting as if the allegations are true. I don't know and I really don't want to know any if not none of the ugly details. Yikes and allegations of sex with an underage minor provoke some serious church lady condemnations. Had Gaetz been having sex with an underage dolphin, well, no big deal. Best to just take your weight and move on. You know, after the heat dies down and you get yourself registered on that sex offenders list. Yikes... and yes Amerika is uptight and puritanical ...

  The Suez Canal is free, free at last, thank god-ah-might, free at last. The stuck container ship is unstuck and that's thanks in large part to an unnamed Egyptian youngster that posed the question, "why don't you all just pour more water into the canal?" And then PRESTO, the stuck container ship floats free. Gosh and I'll bet about two or three hundred hard pressed engineers didn't think of that. Thanks unnamed questioning Egyptian youngster, you've saved the day and the canal and global shipping concerns owe you a 'titanic' debt of gratitude. Get it? There's that comedy thingy again. 'Titanic' and floating boats? With a possible exception being the Titanic didn't float so well after being "breached" by that pointy damn iceberg. So and evidently, the stuck container ship got stuck in the Suez Canal on account of the wind blowing really ferociously (?) off the Sahara Desert, and blowing damn hard enough to "push...

  And there you have the quantum if not antithetical question of our time. Is it better to have existentialed or is it better to have ordered the double cheeseburger? Who knows and one answer might sound just as stupid as any other answer that might sound stupid. You can pick one but not the other. Yes my friends, I've got nothing for a Monday and so...prattle I will. Did you know that the trump is still whining about losing the election back in November of 2020? Well he is and talk about thrashing a dead horse. Trump needs a sound trashing but not any poor damn dead horse. Did you know that Amerika's BLM routinely beats on dead horses? Well they do. You see ranchers and the Bundy klan gripe almost around the clock at the BLM over wild horses grazing on open BLM rangeland. The wild horses can do that, the horses have been grazing on open rangeland since before any screwy dang white people showed up to fuck up the open rangeland and gripe to the BLM about the wil...

Yes my friends, today is that very special Sunday when once a year the world is supposed to go out and plant palm trees. Problem is, the ship blocking the Suez Canal is mucking up the shipments of palm tress to our sorely in need Planet. Did you know that Egypt is our world's single most important exporter of palm trees? Well and evidently it is and here I thought all along that Arizona was our world's single most important grower and exporter of palm trees. I was ever so wrong about Arizona and palm trees. Go figure. Anyway, Egypt is dealing with a plugged up Suez Canal and damn if that's not about a headache or what. Possibly what. Anyway once more, did you know that on this very night and that would just so happen to be the super worm full moon night. I did not know that we had us a super worm full moon night that coincided with Palm Sunday. That's got to be a coincidence. Oughtn't that be a coincidence? I think it's all a super full coincidence. I could supp...

  Yes friends it is Saturday and the very last Saturday of March 2021. March went by in a hurry. Which means of course that Spring really is right around a corner. Won't be too very long and the ambient air temp will be in the mid 70's then mid 80's and dang if'n that won't feel about just grand. Short sleeve shirts and shorts and floppies and it should be noted here that I gave up wearing shorts a long time ago. Evidently my wearing shorts was deemed to be a public eyesore on account of my legs are really white. I mean ugly beyond redemption white. I haven't really worn shorts since my way younger days. Any white legs are a public eyesore if not a public nuisance and those white legs are almost obscene. You know, in a public display of whiteness sort of ugly. Curse of the genetic cruelty in cultural and ethnic bio luck of a birthing draw. Ain't my dang fault I turned out white so, blame my parents who were also victims of that genetic cruelty gig. You don...

  That's a line from an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. I'm not certain that the cartoons I watched as a youngster would pass any socially critical agenda check. Not these days. Back in the good old days of quality cartoons there was plenty of cartoon violence, mayhem, mischief, classical music and yeah there was lots of Mozart and his pals, and damn if those cartoon weren't about funny as hell. Today's culture of puritanical hysteria and hypocrisy would never allow antics like we had back then to even air. Classic cartoon violence was...violent but you had to put that violence in context. These were cartoons and no one took any of it seriously. Elmer Fudd would shoot Daffy Duck. Elmer would try and shoot Bugs. Bugs would drop bricks on Elmer. Daffy could fly in space without a space suit. The cartoons featured flying cars and cars that smashed walls. Tom and Jerry beat holy bejeepers out of each other and it was hysterically funny. Droopy Dog played a town sheriff and routinel...

  President Joe Biden is holding a press conference today and evidently, it's a big deal. I'm not certain as to why the President holding a press conference would be a big deal but and according to media shrieking, a presidential press conference is a big deal. So this is President Biden's first "press conference" and media concerns are almost giddy given the opportunity to hold the President's feet to the fire. The journalism fire to be quite specific and given our current state of nit-picking every damn thing said just about anywhere, one ought to be cautious making any manner of statement regarding Amerika's president. I will certainly be tuned out of the media coverage. I'll be able to catch Biden's relevant remarks on the evening news. Maybe. The journalism mainstream is clamoring about 'crisis on the border' and the Covid-19 vaccines and when the Amerika might reach targeted "herd immunity." Issues that probably are germane ...

  Sen. Ted 'Fidel' Cruz, rethuglican Texas, made a remark following the mass murders in Boulder, Colorado. Good ole Fidel states the Boulder mass murder was mere  “ridiculous theater” and the mass murder is more than likely the fault of democrats. Judas Priest! Fidel really put his foot in it this time. Fidel's remarks were callous, crude, rude, thoroughly unacceptable, and highlight the fact that Fidel is an asshole of epic proportion. Ten innocent people were forced to forfeit their lives by a bigger asshole than Ted Cruz and ole Cruz thinks this is all "ridiculous theater." Fuck you Ted. Take your sorry ass back to Cuba, if Cuba would even have the fucker, and see if your prattle will win any friends while there. You see Sen. Ted 'Fidel' Cruz is Cuban. Oh yes he is. Cruz' prattle further highlights the simple fact that there is something wholesale and comprehensively wrong about Texas culture and political thought. I guess there's Texas thinking...

  Mea culpa mea maxi culpa. I alleged that the shooter in Boulder, Colorado was quite possibly a 'white guy' and used the term 'cracker' to describe the freak. Well I was quite wrong and too quickly made judgment. The shooter in Boulder, Colorado was Syrian. You know that Syria country in the Middle East that is torn to bloody shreds in a civil war that rages to this very day? Yeah, that Syria. So the shooter was in the Amerika to escape the ravages of civil war in his home nation and isn't Amerika just goddamn lucky to welcome this asshole with open arms and an open invitation to purchase assault weapons that the clown wouldn't have been able to purchase in Syria. This asshole had previously been arrested and charged with assault so the fuck was known to Boulder law enforcement. None of that hardly makes a dimes bit of difference now. The guy bought an AR-15 assault rifle on the previous day before he went nut fucking up and killed 10 people. So it is more than...

  Some call it stormy Monday BUT, Tuesday's just as bad. Almost like Tuesday is a morbid extension of a Monday. You know how in that 'Groundhog' movie with the Murray guy that keeps repeating itself over and over until Murray finally gets to bed Andie MacDowell? Yeah almost like that but not quite so movie-esque. That endless grinder of Amerikan souls through the Amerikan work grinder that's been on suspension for the last year and you'd think that Amerikans of all shapes and cultural bias would be all ready and willing to get back to it. You'd think so anyway. The last year has been almost like being in lockup. Almost... So now the quarantines are being lifted and Amerikans are all kinds of ready to 'get back out there' and catch the newest variant of the Covid. With todays variant being that dreaded "Brazilian Beach Butt Variant" and this dang variant is a killer. The dang Brazilian variant Covid makes your butt swell up like a helium filled ...

  Today is machine art day. Yeah I made that up and why not. Machine art or whatever you can create or come up with deserves a day of recognition. Yup so here goes nothing. Besides, I've got about nothing and this Monday could be a slow news day but it is early yet. Some dang weird shit or some other dang weird shit will raise it's uncannily weird head and we'll have it going on then. Or not and it all depends on the severity of the weird shit. Oh sorry, I digress. Machine art - dante's infernal - dante's twin sisters - dante certainly could have had twin sisters. who knows... :]

  Wow, is that shocking or what. Sunday comes before Monday and has for a damn long time. At least that's the way it works here in the Amerika. Today is also 3/21/21. At least that's the way it works here in the Amerika on account of the Amerika writes a date line as month, day, and then year. In Europe, or at least this is how I'm led to believe, the date line gets written day, month, and then year. So writing up a date line goes 21/03/21. I don't live anywhere near Europe or England, Ireland, Scotland, or Wales so I really don't know for certain. Best guess I guess. As is plainly evident here, I've got about nothing so I'll prattle on for a ways and then call it good. I read somewhere that Kanye West is worth $6 billion dollars. I can't for the life of me figure how in hell good ole Yeezy could be worth $6 billion dollars but the headline couldn't possibly be wrong could it? Nah... West having fabulously big bucks adds about nothing to nothing so, ...

  March 20, 2021 and it's the first day of spring. The 'vernal equinox' has made it to the northern hemisphere and it's about dang time. Greeny little plant things are sticking their greeny little heads out of the dirt and won't be too very long and the flowers will be springing out all over the place. The 'vernal equinox' happens when the earth's axial tilt sways the planet so that the sun appears to be right smack in the middle of the old horizon and much of this would depend on where you might stand on this fine first day of spring anywhere in the northern hemisphere. The same effect would happen in a southern hemisphere of planet earth only in sort of a reverse 'vernal equinox' and that would be kindly referred to as a southern hemisphere autumnal equinox. Of course and depending on one's cultural proximity and actual physical proximity in a southern hemisphere, well, the event may in fact be referred to as something entirely different. A...

  I saw the headline and, well, I simply had to bite. As in bite on the story line and not an exploding vagina candle. I thought, damn, exploding vaginas??? I didn't finish the headline. So after laughing my fool ass off, I finished the headline and then read the story. Men of any age will act the juvenile fool at the mere suggestion of a vagina or vagina joke or vagina whatever. I confess to being a juvenile fool and always have been. I digress. Here's the link to the exploding vagina candle story... LINK -  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/19/experience-gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-erupted-in-my-front-room Ms. Gwyneth Paltrow, you know that Paltrow woman what starred in those 'Iron Man' movies? That Gwyneth Paltrow. According to press releases and media crap, Ms. Paltrow is a "major celebrity" so why in hell is Paltrow hawking vagina scented candles that explode? That is as much a cultural statement as an incredulous question. So after rea...

  The rise of worker clones. Yes my friends, a scientist in Israel has managed to cultivate mouse embryos in a lab beaker.  LINK HERE - https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/17/health/mice-artificial-uterus.html   Of course the Israeli scientist maintains his experiment is strictly for "science." Sure it is. The mouse embryos were encased in a mechanical womb but first, the mouse embryos had to be scientifically and surgically removed from an actual mouse womb. Say goodbye to your babies silly lab mouse, this abortion is for SCIENCE! Next up and this could be a real boon for women considering bearing children yet are hesitant about stretching the bejeepers out of the female body, mechanical child bearing wombs for the discriminating mother that wants a kid but doesn't want to fuck up the female body. There will be seriously real money in that scientific advancement. Bet on it. So and by a not so serious stretch of an imagination, next will be designer babies and of co...

  The notion has absolutely nothing to do with anything that follows. I'm just making shit up as I keyboard along. Tra-lah-lah-tra-lah-lay and say did you read about the "life forms" that scientists found at the bottom of Greenland's ice sheet? Oh yeah and the freezy little critters have been there since the last ice age swallowed Greenland in it's entirety. I'm not actually certain that what scientists found could be called critters. I just made that part up for special effect. Or special efx. The scientists that found the lifeforms under the ice of Greenland are now trying to figure out how they (the scientists) can turn a profit off of what they found. Yeah the freaking scientists are only in it for the money. Pretty much like everyone else. Just have a look at Neil deGrasse Tyson's accounting ledgers. Swimming in the bucks he is. Celebrity tends to take the 'professional' out of science. I don't blame Dr. Tyson. Oh hell no. Take the money a...

  Congratulations to Madam Secretary of the Interior Debra Haaland. She is now confirmed by the racist U.S. Senate to be Secretary of the Interior and that confirmation is about damn time. Secretary Haaland is a 35th generation New Mexican from Pueblo Laguna and that would leave Secretary Haaland as an original American. Original as in Secretary Haaland's people were here in the America before any one and that's to include those snitty and dang uppity Boston white people. Dang immigrants anyway. The dang immigrants have messed this here America up and it's gonna take years and years to try and fix all the damage caused by the white people. You know like genocide, slavery, ethnic cleansing, cultural atrocity, and crimes too numerous to mention. Yes and congratulations to Debra Haaland. Let us hope that Madam Secretary can fix the wholly fucked up Department of the Interior. That aforementioned 'fucked up' part happened under the trump regime. The radically racist mem...

 Are here! Oh yes today is the Ides of Covid and there ain't not a dang thing can be done about that. Except maybe to dig up Willy Shakespeare and kick his dead ass. So and seeing as how today is the 'big day', we'll just skip the bullshit and get down to the brass tacks. Or tax. Whatever. Machine art and if one is well connected to the connected people, that machine art will turn you a boat load of bucks. I'm for the most part not connected to a damn thing. I could suppose that I am connected to a surreal reality. Or whatever... opticalism - a red drop of some gooey digital stuff - okay and TTFN.

  Charlie Hebdo le berce! Oh yes they do. Here it is - This work has the Brits all tied in twisted knots of outrage. If the satire fits, well, suck it up! :]

  Today is pi day. 3/14/21 is also the first day on the daylight savings time clock. I really dislike daylight savings time. I may have stated that previously. To compensate for today being the first day of daylight savings time and ordinary shoes (listen to Paul Simon's 'Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes), today is also pi day and that sort of helps in dealing with your body clock being screwed over mercilessly. So with today being celebrated as pi day, we should review several of the best pies on the Planet. First up would be pizza pie. Dang and I do love me some pizza pie. Pizza decorated with sausage, pepperoni, Canadian bacon although why Canadian bacon would be better than any other bacon is beyond me, onions, olives, green peppers, and of course mushrooms. Oh yeah now we are on to something. Next on the pi day list would good old fashioned Mom's apple pie. Warm and almost right out of the oven and splattered with some vanilla ice cream. Or whipped cream and either...

  It's here. This very night is the one we all should dread. Everyone knows it's coming. Everyone dreads the arrival but yet, here it is. The move the clocks forward one hour to initiate 'daylight savings time'. Is anyone fooled into believing that we "save" any time whatsoever by pushing the clocks ahead one hour? No, no one is fooled with the possible exception of folk that live in Texas and probably Alabama and Mississippi. The day will contain the very same 24 hours that the day contained prior to the illusion that is 'daylight savings time'. Earth will still orbit the sun, daylight gets longer as our Planet shifts on it's axis to elongate the tilt of the Earth in the northern hemisphere, and thus any day seems to be longer but the passage of time remains the exact very same as before the sun begins it's annual sojourn into the northern realms. You see this is all a heinous plot and conspiracy to jerk your body clocks around so that you rea...

  It's Friday so be grateful for minor miracles. Our world has survived another week of plague pandemics, earthshaking earthquakes, fire and lave spitting volcanoes, politicians, and here commences the beginning of daylight savings time. Saturday night everyone MUST turn those clocks and watches ahead by exactly one hour and everyone WILL lose an hours sleep. I hate the switch to daylight savings time. The change screws with my body clock for about two weeks. I really don't care if Amerika runs on regulation time or daylight savings time, just set the dang clocks one way or that 'other' way and leave it alone. Like permanently. Living in Arizona and we never had to mess with our clocks. Arizona doesn't recognize the daylight savings time premise and that was the single most desirable thing about living in Arizona. So for at least a few months out of any year, Arizona pulses to the beat of the rest of Amerika. Come daylight savings time switch up and Arizona pulses t...

  Fully vaccinated so... now what? I lucked into the Moderna vaccine, received the prerequisite two inoculations, so now with a drum roll and thunderous applause, tah dah!!! I'm vaccinated hurray. Hardly took much time for the waiting drill and I'm still waiting for Salt Lake County Health Department to kindly let me know that the Health Department has vaccine and I can get them shots. You see, persons of my age and generation were required to sign up and phone in to get an appointment, if any appointments were in fact available, and then wait for the Health Department people to be specifically gracious enough to grant you a Covid-19 vaccine. The Salt Lake County Health Department was NOT gracious enough to let me know they had the vaccine available. I was able to get vaccinated on account of my wife's place of employ had extra doses of vaccine available and rather than throw the extra doses away as required by the CDC and FDA, my wife's place of employ got in touch wit...

  Back in the news again would be trump. You see the trump is pitching a fit, he's being manstrel again, and that's not really news. Unless the trump is gobbling up media space and time, the dumb freak isn't happy. So neither are media outlets. Trump makes for good ratings and I'm surprised that trump hasn't tried to bill media outlets for the coverage. He is an asshole. Some people can grow out of being an asshole after some serious therapy. However the trump is an asshole for life and that about says it all. Anyway, trumpy is pissed off at the Republikan National Committee for fundraising the RNC is doing and using trump's likeness. Why in hell they would want to do that is beyond me but then just about anything the RNC does is beyond human comprehension. Anyway once more, trump isn't getting a slice of the RNC fundraising pie and THAT has the trumpy most livid. Did I mention that trump is an asshole? Well he is. So this should make for some entertaining d...

Not so much to prattle on about today. Places to go, things to do, people to annoy, and overall not so much time available for meaningful if not unwarranted brevity. So I will skip the rattle of prolonged prattle and get to the important crap. Machine art. x mark -   current in time - peace and out. for now...

  Did you watch it? You know, the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan. I managed to stomach about two minutes of the "big interview" and then bailed for something a teensy bit more exciting than watching paint dry. Yes, watching paint dry is a thing. So did the world find out that Harry thinks his old man had Harry's mom cacked? Did we find out that bonny Prince Chuck likes to wear Camilla's old underwear? Did we find out that Camila is a dominatrix? Did we find out that Harry's granddad, that would be Lizzie the Deuce' hubby, is treated better than the ancient Egyptians embalmed their dead Pharaohs? Hell no. As near as I can tell by reading the news blurbs, the interview by Oprah with Harry and Meghan was much ado about absolutely nothing. No startling revelations, no dark innuendo, no screaming, no crying, however that was a bit of whining by Meghan and given that Meghan is a bit of a spoiled rotten Amerikan princess, no surprises. None and that should rea...

It's invent a new word week. I came up with the notion on account of I've got about nothing for this fine day. So it's invent a new word week and that's pretty much it. PopCultura is word I came up that will define stuff going on that defies any other explanation or definition. You know like 'trump' which can effectively be substituted for the infamous 'f' word. So instead of expressing to someone the desire that they fuck off, well, just say 'trump' off. See? Works like a charm. Almost. Nothing can ever replace the fuck word which just so happens to hold universal application. But in tight situations and when the word Gestapo might be lurking around a corner in hiding within the confines of polite conversation, simply use 'trump' as acceptable usage for a heartfelt FUCK! Of course one can then add a 'you' or 'this' or 'that' or 'them' or 'it all' or 'your mama' or there are any number of ad...