If This Is Sunday...That's A Snake

 The drought and wildfires out here in the West are sending snakes of all varieties into close proximity with humans. You see water has mostly dried up and with the wildfires burning down the natural habitats, well, the critters have gots to go somewhere. So that would be where the humans are clustered with their lawns and pools and cool spaces or cooler spaces, and stuff like that there. Well the animals aren't stupid so they head for where what they need just so happens to be. Antelope, deer, moose, raccoons, rats, rattlesnakes, skunks, and probably all of "god's creatures" are in the urban and suburban mix. The onus seems to be on the rattlesnakes. Dang slithereens be snaking out the woodpile for sure. Here's what you need to do IF you happen on a rattlesnake or any dang snake for that matter. First off, leave the critter alone! Dang snake ain't out to do more than try to get by. Snake might need a drink of water or a rat to kill and eat. Or a mouse or one of those stupid dang pocket pets. Some of the pocket pets are literally small enough to fit in your shirt pocket so yes, the thing would make for a fine snake dinner. Second thing that is important IF you happen on a rattlesnake...the rattler will give you plenty of advance notice that the snake is right there. Oh yes and I've happened on rattlers out wandering the wilds of the Great American West and you should simply stop where you're at and back the fuck up. Slowly and with a purpose. The rattler is NOT about to follow you unless you've done something really stupid to piss the rattlesnake off. You know like poking at the snake with a stick or your foot or tried to pick the snake up. You really DO NOT want to pick up a rattlesnake. You'll be dead before sundown and that's no foolin'. Modern humanity has encroached on wild lands that used to be there for the critters and not Bob, Marge, and the kids. So animals do what animals have always done, find new places to hang out and the suburbs are simply overflowing with the bounty of fresh grass and bushes and lots of water. Water the lawn, water the shrubs, water the dog, and make sure the pool is full. A veritable smorgasbord of animal delectables. And snakes too. If you happen on a moose, well, give Bullwinkle plenty of space. You see the moose is one very large animal. About as big as a dang horse. If it happens to be autumn and you happen on a moose...look the fuck out. If it happens to be autumn, a bull moose is in rut and the bull moose is more than a bit unhinged. Filled with the Pon Farr or in earthly terms, the moose is horny and he'll run you down and then lord knows what might happen next. Rapaciously ravaged by a bull moose. Hmmm, that would make for some interesting news reporting. Regardless of that hilarity, mind the snakes wherever you might be this bright and shiny if not freaking hot summer and leave the snakes alone. For your own good. Well and the wellbeing of your kids. Although if your kid happens to be fucking around with a rattlesnake, that would make for one serious life lesson. No doubt. Machine art is next.

lilacs -

centralized surrealism -

be well, stay hydrated, find shade, and leave the snakes alone. :}