skulzwerks: Stomach Vibrator?

Are you in need of losing a little weight? Are you in need of losing a lot of weight? Can't get your pants to button? Zipper won't ... won't zip? If you happen to be one of the male species closely related to the human kind, have you lost sight of your penis? Well if you've responded yes to any one of the aforementioned problemos medical science just might have found the remedy you need. A vibrator for your stomach. That's right, a vibrator for you enlarging stomach. All you'll need do is a) - get in touch with the medical science kids at Harvard University and/or MIT (MIT would be Massachusetts Institute of Technology), b) - commit yourself to some questionable surgery at the aforementioned brainiac collectives and c) - have your head examined for being a lazy fat ass that hasn't the wherewithal to back away from a food trough. This wondrously ingenious stomach vibrator gets surgically implanted inside the stomach, the stomach digestive juice dissolves some kind of dang shield that the vibrator is encased in, and then the vibrator swings into action and tickles your stomach into informing your brain that yes indeed the stomach is full and you might want to quit eating. The vibrator pill comes equipped with the vibrator mechanism, a battery to power the vibrator mechanism, is good for approximately 38 minutes and then, in theory anyway, follow down the old digestive track and exit out your poop chute. The wonders of modern medicine no doubt. I would have some concerns over any number of ancillary issues that would come with a stomach vibrator pill and those concerns would be the surgery necessary for insertion of the vibrator, the vibrator's effects on the human digestive system with batteries and dissolving coverings, and the entire ejection process for exiting the human digestive track upon conclusion of having the stomach vibrated. So what happens if the dang thing gets stuck? What happens if the vibrator starts to leak battery charging juice into the human blood stream. Because that's where the digested food goes upon conclusion of a meal. Any number of issues can be checked over and should get checked over and considered seriously prior to committing to a stomach vibrator. I'm of the opinion that simply putting a fork down and backing slowly away from a dinner table is more than likely safer and more effective than all the bullshit one would have to contend with using a "stomach vibrator." What manner of hell won't the medical whiz kids come up with next ... Saturday machine art is up right about now.

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