Exploding Vagina Candles?

 I saw the headline and, well, I simply had to bite. As in bite on the story line and not an exploding vagina candle. I thought, damn, exploding vaginas??? I didn't finish the headline. So after laughing my fool ass off, I finished the headline and then read the story. Men of any age will act the juvenile fool at the mere suggestion of a vagina or vagina joke or vagina whatever. I confess to being a juvenile fool and always have been. I digress. Here's the link to the exploding vagina candle story... LINK - 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/19/experience-gwyneth-paltrows-vagina-candle-erupted-in-my-front-room

Ms. Gwyneth Paltrow, you know that Paltrow woman what starred in those 'Iron Man' movies? That Gwyneth Paltrow. According to press releases and media crap, Ms. Paltrow is a "major celebrity" so why in hell is Paltrow hawking vagina scented candles that explode? That is as much a cultural statement as an incredulous question. So after reading the tale of explosions and the smell of a woman's vagina, I came to the conclusion that "major celebrities" don't necessarily think about whatever it is they (major celebrity) are slapping their name onto for a buck. Or big bucks depending on the scale of major celebrity status and yes there is a "scale" that rates the profit margin for celebrities. Go figure. Did you know that the Paltrow woman has a 'perfumer'? I did not know that. I know that now. So and along with all the ancillary bribes, flattery, pampering, bling bags, housekeepers, gardeners, slaves to wipe the celebrity tookas, and associated hangers on and fawning attendants, celebrities need a 'perfumer'. Which just goes along way to add credibility to the notion that celebrity shit really does stink. Anyway, Paltrow had her name added to the vagina scented candle ruse and the rest becomes fire battalion history and a damn good laugh at Paltrow's expense with the firefighters that responded to the exploding vagina scented candle. Would there be any lingering odor from the exploding vagina scented candle and prerequisite fire from the explosion? That's another juvenile question asked by a professional juvenile. That'd be me. :] Here's a bit of unsolicited advise for Paltrow: in future, read the fine print of any contract or suggestion that concerns the making of contractually agreed upon monies. That smallish exercise just might save you from weeks of unsolicited if not rude laughter and derisions. Paltrow is about to be the butt of endless jokes made at her rather clueless expense. "Hey, this candle smells like a vagina." There is no way ever and not even in the foreseeable future am I about to spend ANY money on a vagina scented candle. Who gets to decide what a vagina smells like? The remainder of this juvenile and pointless Friday pontification will end right about now. Vagina smelling candles... jeepers Willis, when does this insanity end? On to machine art. I can barely contain myself as it is now. 

back in the day before vagina scented candles -

beached blanket shipwreck -

say, would you like to smell my finger? The juvenile hilarity could go on for days. :}