Friday, May 20, 2022

Of Mice, Mormons, and Morons

 Once upon a time, these United States of America had a 'great inland salt sea'. Better known as the Great Salt Lake. It is on account of this lake that Salt Lake City found its name. As some may or may not know, the western U.S.of A. is in the throes of one damnable climatic drought. The drought has been continuous for a number of years now. By the "western United States", that means ALL the states west of the Mississippi River. Yes the drought is that bad. Media doesn't exactly portray the drought as the serious threat to American life and livelihood that it very much is. So the Great Salt Lake has been shrinking for a number of years now and teeters at present to become just one very large salty toxic dust bowl. As our telling of present climatic standing continues, Utah's braveheart legislature is grappling with the shrinking lake issues and how in hell Utah's legislature might find water for the rapidly shrinking Great Salt Lake. I need to interject here the very real FACT that for years and years and, yes years, Utah's legislature did not so much as acknowledge the fact that Utah had a 'great salt lake' AND the legislature ignored the issue of drought and a shrinking Great Salt Lake. Utah's legislature is filled to overflowing with braindead political puppets that care only for money and how the State of Utah might get more of those precious dollars for state government and the legislators themselves.

Fast forward to Utah Legislative Water Development Commission (a wholly owned subsidiary of the Utah State Legislature) and one Sen. David Hinkins (R-Orangeville, Utah). I had to google up Orangeville, Utah as I'd never heard of that bastion of legislative genius or where the fuck Orangeville may in fact be located on a map. Anyway, Utah State Senator Hinkins said and this is a direct quote here, "theres a lot of water in the ocean (I'm guessing here but I think that Hinkins means the Pacific Ocean) and we have very little in the Great Salt Lake." Water in the Great Salt Lake. Hinkins is proposing that Utah build a pipeline from the Pacific Ocean to the Great Salt Lake. The depth of the man's grasp on reality is somewhat tenuous to say the least. By the time any proposed pipeline from the Pacific to the Great Salt Lake could be constructed, the Great Salt Lake will have completely dried up, blown away far away, and the 'life elevated' State of Utah will no longer have one of the wonders of our modern world.

Hinkins was asked by one of Utahs more astute news reporters if he (Hinkins) was being serious. Hinkins by the way, insists that he is "being dead serious." Hinkins and the Legislative Water Development Commission are facing "desperate measures" according to Hinkins and "all options are on the table."

So the plan would be to construct a pipeline from the Pacific Ocean, across California, over the Sierra Nevada Mountains, across Nevada, and ultimately into the Great Salt Lake in Utah. Hinkins hasn't bothered to consult with California, Nevada, any of the cities that would be involved, the Army Corp of Engineers, the EPA, the Union Pacific Railroad, nor any of the taxpayers that would bear the actual cost of such a boondoggle.

As an afterthought, Hinkins informed the reporter that "it's just an idea." Harebrained idea but it is an idea. For further legislative genius, the Development Commission chair declared "our entire way of life in northern Utah is impacted by a declining lake." Utah's legislative braintrust has had that come to Jesus moment and finally realize that Utah is deeply mired in some stinky drying lake shit. The problem of a shrinking  Great Salt Lake should have been addressed years and so many years back but, no hell no, the Lake wasn't even on a legislative drawing board. Utah's Legislature is not now nor ever known for being foresighted. The good old boy network is chummy one with another and will not take council of any sort. They are in very real fact a collection of inbred Mormon buffoons and will take the State of Utah down with them parched and sunbaked all the way to a very bitter end. Bye bye you sad collection of dickheads. Friday machine art is up next.

tubes as in...down the tubes -


Venetia -


floral bouquet -


Utah's boy genius governor Spencey Cox is fully onboard with whatever the Legislative Water Development Commission decides to do. what the commish will do is yet to be revealed. however that revelation will come at the next Mormon General Conference in October 2022. 👻

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