Dead Whale Stinking Up A Beach

 Not to far back, like maybe a couple of weeks back, my wife and I were in far Northern California doing a bucket list journey to the beach. Beautiful place to visit. Redwood forest and the Pacific Ocean and birds and stuff washed up on their beaches ... well as things do at times turn out ... we found a dead seal pup washed up on the beach and the vultures were having themselves a feast. The dead seal pup was stinking up the beach something awful. You could smell death from a ways off. Fast forward to this just past weekend and news breaks that a dead gray whale had washed up on Huntington Beach. I've been to Huntington Beach and a dead gray whale is more than a little peculiar. My point being, dead seal pup generated a massive smell and the stench had a bit of staying power. Sort of smelling that wraps itself around your ankles and then does a slow crawl up you leg until the funk reaches your nose and the odor sort of prompts a gag reflex. Dang dead carcass had some powerful stink so ... you can imagine, or not, how a dead whale carcass would stink up the coast for miles. In every conceivable direction. Especially depending on which way the wind might be blowing. Now a dead seal pup isn't really all that big. A dead gray whale is massive and do to the advancing biodegrading processes, commonly known as rotting flesh, well, the stink would actually not only wrap itself around your ankles, the funk would knock you to your goddamn knees and leave you pleading for a mask or jar of Vicks Vaporub or skunk spray or you know, any dang odor that will overpower a dead whale stink and offer up some relief for you nose parts. Whales alive or dead are on a scale that is almost unfathomable to modern humanity. They are very large animals and upon their demise, offer themselves up as a seriously large disposal issue. Maybe Huntington Beach could get RFK jr to take a chain saw and cut the dead whales head off and then junior could tie that whale head to the roof of his car and drive the "trophy" back to Babylon-On-The-Potomac. Junior is actually crazy enough to pull a stunt like that off and do it for free. Now we'll jump start the week off with Monday machine art and maybe Huntington Beach could hold a giant dead whale barbecue and solve their problem of dead whale stench. All they need do is dig a whale size beach trench and fill that trench with barbecue briquettes and strike a match ...

horror -

it is -

zoo -

polar -

knob -

gravi t -

china -

thinks -

I do that, you know, ... thinks ... I like to thinks about stuff and I thinks I'm really glad not to be anywhere near Huntington Beach right now ... that's some powerful funk wafting on those ocean breezes ... 😒