Apocryphal And Arcane

 We (Americans living west of the Mississippi river) are living through the 'Great Western American Drought' of the early portion of the twenty first century. Ain't not seen no rain for a dang long time. No rain no snow no wet and dang if'n it ain't about hot as a bejeepers. So in dealing with the 'GWAD', Westerners have had to dig into the archives and break out the old if not reliable, 'A Rainmakers Guide To The Atmospheric Gods Of Moisture' and the particular section of the "guide" on dealing with drought. The 'Guide' is "apocryphal and arcane" and there is not much debate about that. So...

According to the "Guide", when in need of almost if not immediate rain and/or snow, one needs to offer up a "pleasing sacrifice to the Gods of Atmospheric Moisture" and that pleasing sacrifice needs be the blood of an innocent young child. A virginal young lass is appropriate but in case of any shortage of virginal young lasses, well, a comely young boy child will work. Hey these are some serious dang times we are living in so drastic problems require a drastic solution. With the American West on fire and burning out of control, drought withering the crops, dang bugs running rampant, well, western Americans aren't left with too many good options. Actually there are no good options. So the search is on for a virginal young lass OR a comely young boy child which would prove acceptable in a pinch. Turns out there are some serious issues in finding a virginal young lass in western America. Searches are proving somewhat problematic. Searches have found that there simply aren't very many virginal young lasses remaining in the West. Seems the young ladies are hellbent on embracing their womanly desires and are getting laid at a fantastic rate of penetration leading to a loss of virginity. Young ladies and young men are testing the boundaries of hormonal overdrive. Ah to be young once again. Or not. Anyway, as soon as a virginal young lass (or comely young boy child) can be found, Utah's Governor Spencer Cox has proffered his services to perform the "sacrifice" for the good of western America and the ending of one godawful drought of biblical proportions. Denial of the biblical proportions of the drought would be "ignorant" and that is the very and official word from Governor Cox. We'll pause for a moment so as to allow the chuckling over Cox's last name to subside. I mean...grow up people. So there you have it. Western Americans are in seriously deep shit and that shit is dry as a prairie cow pie. All flakey and dust like. There really is not much to laugh at here. Take a look at the New York Times webpage. They've got some satellite footage of the Bootleg fire in Oregon that is quite shocking and drives home the point for the reasoning behind a need for a 'GWAD' use of the 'Rainmakers Guide To the Atmospheric Gods of Moisture'. So let be written so let it be done. Or some bullshit like that there. :] Machine art is next up on today's whining about stuff that requires whining over.

biscuit -

basic black -

so there you go 'apocryphal' and all that there. 🔊 sound the alarm!!!