Friday, July 23, 2021

High Wholly Daze

 Yes my friends, here inside the Zion Curtain we've arrived at the 'High Holy Days Of 47'. Yup it's the annual "Days" wherein Utahns of all shapes and sizes, there is only the one color and that'd be white, celebrate the divine arrival of Brig and his band of merry pioneers to the Salt Lake Valley. 'Brig' would of course, be Bring'em Young. That's an inside the Zion Curtain joke. (really, his name is Brigham Young) Utah's Mormons get all worked up and break out their finest rodeo clothing just like the pioneers wore, and head to the 'Days Of 47' rodeo where Utahns get to watch rodeo hands poke, prod, torture, and in general be ever so abusive to "rodeo" animals. The rodeo hands will insist that the animal are in fact having a "great time." Sure they are. Just think how much fun you could have if a raw surface rope were tied around your testicles and cinched up nice and tight so you'd have to buck and twist turning as hard as you might to throw off some asshole wearing spurs could ride you for about 8 seconds. I think the ride is for about 8 seconds. I've never tried it so...yeah. The "official Days Of 47 parade" goes off this fine morning and that would be Friday July 23, 2021. Back in the day, the holiest of holy 'Days of 47 Parade' only occurred on July 24th. Well that was a way back when and this is now and last years parade was cancelled on account of the Covid-19 pandemic, plague, and lockdown. Pity that. Anyway, the 'parade' is on for this year and...yippee-ki-yah! I'll leave out the M-F'er phrase that good old bald Bruce Willis made famous in those 'die asshole' movies. So not even the start of the Tokyo Olympic Games 2020/2021 can stop the "official and ever so important Days Of 47 Parade." Nope. The parade is that important for the Mormons. I'll not be watching the 'parade' nor the Olympics. I simply do NOT care. Not for a minute. If the Mormons want to sit outside in the roasting toasting screaming hot desert heat to watch floats, marching high school bands, and local television celebrities mounted safely on those floats and waving condescendingly to the locals, well, good on 'em. First off, it's too goddamn hot to be sitting outside on the concrete. Second off, the entire parade is one titanic celebration of hypocrisy, religious fantasy, with some genocide and cultural appropriation thrown in for some in your face laughter. Yeah we are having us some fun now. You betcha! Machine art and stuff that just might be relevant is coming up fairly soon. Or not. If you do care to celebrate Utah's 'High and Wholly Whimsical Daze Of Mormon Fantasy' well, keep yourself hydrated and wear lots of sunscreen. About a bucket full would work nicely.

tink -


collisions of the buffalo kind in the surreal -

we're gonna have a good time...thanks Lenny. 💤


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