Breaking news from Weird Shit, Utah. A woman is charged in Salt Lake's 3rd District Court with felony mayhem. Yup...felony mayhem and I did NOT know that mayhem could be a felony. Well it is. So a woman is minding her own business and driving merrily along and driving woman spots her sister who has been spending her time being homeless and a public nuisance. Driving woman stops to pick up her homeless sister and it isn't too very long before homeless sister "becomes aggressive." Homeless sister is drunk. Anyway, homeless drunk sister grabs her driving sisters hair, pulled her (driving sister) hair back, and punched driving sister. Now it gets weird. Homeless drunk sister leans over and bites her sister on the left eye. Damn! Driving sister sustains some serious and grievous bodily injury to her left eye. Homeless drunk and hungry sister bit her sister (the driving sister) so badly that the bite tore the driving woman's left tear duct out of the eye with aforementioned tear duct hanging outside driving woman's left eye AND driving woman lost a chunk of her left eye lid. Driving woman will need plastic surgery to fix her left eye to a partial resemblance of how her left eye looked before driving woman picked up her drunk and homeless sister. Homeless and drunk sister had a previous encounter with Salt Lake County's finest. Back in January, drunk and homeless sister had a fight with her (drunk homeless sister) boyfriend and punched the guy in the face while he was driving. Evidently besides being homeless, drunk, major league insane, and armed with some dang dangerous teeth, homeless drunk sister had a boyfriend. The emphasis is on 'had'. Salt Lake County law enforcement authorities finally got around to stepping into a truly ugly and bizarre situation and collared homeless drunk and hungry sister and she now sits inside a heavily padded cell in a Salt Lake County jail that has been previously unnamed. I'm guessing homeless drunk and dangerous sister is in the nuthouse. Deep inside the nuthouse wrapped snuggly comfy in a straight jacket. Probably heavily sedated with Thorazine. I used to work in a Salt Lake County nuthouse and I have some expertise on the subject. Now for some weekend machine art. No biting please.
anarchy -
studs percolate -
photo ID please -
Haka and no offense to Maori -
it might be a good idea to check and see if'n drunk homeless bitey woman gets fed every once in a while. just thinkin'... 👻
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